


if you can keep a secret, i can keep a secret

by majesdane



Category: Skins (UK) RPF
Genre: F/F, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-05
Updated: 2009-12-05
Packaged: 2017-12-06 14:12:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/736576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesdane/pseuds/majesdane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The five times Lily was hit on and the one time she got shagged. | <i>It's just, well, people do seem to like kissing you, don't they?</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	if you can keep a secret, i can keep a secret

you wake up with a list of all the people you'd rather be. but you're already on everyone else's list.  
\-- _pleasefindthis_

 

 

[One: Kathryn]

Kathryn always does this thing where she licks her lips before she leans into a kiss. Lily still hasn't gotten used to it, not after dozens of takes and even more days spent rehearsing. They've been (on-screen) lovers for a year and Lily still notices it; it's the one part of her that's decidedly _her_ she thinks, because she's quite certain it's not something Naomi would notice, let alone care about. But Kathryn licks her lips and presses their lips together and it's rather nice, kissing her (Lily's always thought so), even if sometimes Kat seems a little _too_ eager to do it. Lily supposes that it's simply a matter of method acting, that maybe sometimes Emily takes over and it's what causes Kathryn to dig her nails into Lily's shoulder.

It's also probably why, Lily assumes, Kathryn tries to kiss her when she's drunk, when they're both in the bathroom cleaning up their makeup and Kathryn looks at her in a way that Lily's only accustomed to seeing when she's Naomi. And then Kathryn sets down her lipgloss with a light _click_ , turns and stares at her, hard. Lily feels herself blush, because she really hates being stared at like this, and then Kathryn moves forward and tries to kiss her.

(She moves unbearably slow, standing up on tiptoe, hands going to Lily's shoulders so that she can steady herself, eyes closing, mouth open, lips parted just slightly -- )

Easy there now, Kitty Kat, Lily says gently, and pushes her away as nicely as she can. Come on, you're off your tits, let's go outside for a fag, yeah?

Yeah, okay, Kathryn says brightly, smiling despite the fact she looks very disappointed indeed.

 

;;

 

[Two: Klariza]

Klariza is the one that Lily knows but doesn't really _know_ at the same time.

They've barely ever spoken, usually it's just a sentence here or a laugh there. It's not like she can be blamed for it though, Lily thinks, because they've had, at most, three scenes together, and it's not like she's done it on purpose. Sometimes they end up sharing an apartment, just for the sake of keeping people together during filming (and it only happens because Megan and Kathryn have got to room together, being family and all, and it's not even a question that Lisa and Kaya are put together).

We should go out and get totally fucked up sometime, Klariza tells her, when Lily's in the kitchen making herself a vodka and cranberry and Klariza's on her bed watching _Don't Tell the Bride_ and flipping lazily through a back-issue of _Heat_. She says it again when Lily comes back into the shared bedroom, setting her glass down on the nightstand and flopping ungracefully into bed.

Yeah? she asks, grabbing the remote and flipping through the channels; she's seen this episode before. Well, we could do it right now, if you wanted to. I could ask Kathryn, or maybe Kaya if they'll --

No, Klariza says, looking at Lily over the top of her magazine. I only want to go with you. No one else.

Oh, well, okay, Lily says, and flips back to what they were originally watching (nothing else is on).

They go out, and it's so different from being with Kathryn, because Klariza doesn't spend twenty minutes sitting at the bar, doing shots and squeezing Lily's arm affectionately before picking out someone from the club to bring home with her, leaving Lily by herself. It's different from being with Meg, who gets bored after the first hour and fucks off to go lie in bed and re-watch the latest episode of _Desperate Housewives_.

What _is_ different though, is how, outside, waiting for their taxi, Klariza moves in, cups Lily's face in her hands, and kisses her quickly.

I was just curious, she says, pulling back a moment later, a pleased smirk on her face. I wanted to see if it was different, you know. Snogging a girl.

Oh, Lily says, somewhat dazed. Was it?

I'm not sure, Klariza says thoughtfully, just as their taxi pulls up to the curb. Yes, I think. Or maybe it's just you.

 

;;

 

[Three: Megan]

Megan's not at all like Kathryn, which is something Lily would have figured out on her own, given time, but Megan pointed it out first, right after they'd shook hands, and it was almost like the introduction had gone, Hi, I'm Megan, Kathryn's twin, but we're not alike at all, despite what people seem to think about twins. And it was true, mostly, Lily thought, though they could be strikingly similar at times, if they wanted to be.

That's what she's thinking when she's stood outside the coffee shop, having a fag with Megan in-between shots, and when she passes her matches over to Megan, Meg gives her a look that's akin to the one Kathryn gave her only two weeks earlier; it throws Lily completely off-guard.

Hey, Megan says, just as Lily's turning to leave, heading back inside, reaching forward and catching her wrist. Do you want to come over later?

Meg's fingers are gripping her wrist just a little too much.

Maybe, Lily says, and pulls away just hard enough to dislodge herself from Megan's grasp, flashing her a bright smile. Megan's face falls, as if she knows that the maybe Lily just gave her was nothing short of an out-and-out rejection. Lily manages a bright, See you in a few, before quickly ducking back inside the coffee shop to get her makeup fixed.

Oh, she realizes later, as her lipstick is getting touched up by a tut-ing makeup artist. Oh.

 

;;

 

[Four: Kaya]

Kaya invites Lily over to her flat.

They've got a break in-between filming and Lily hasn't got anything better to do, so when Kaya casually suggest that Lily comes over so they can go out shopping and sit around getting pissed and watching bad movies, Lily happily accepts her invitation.

It's only much later, when they're rolling around on Kaya's king-sized bed, laughing at the movie, completely off their faces, does Lily notice that Kaya keeps touching her a lot. She's almost used to it, since Kathryn acts that way around her all the time, but she's not used to Kaya being so touchy. Kaya's always cool and reserved, often a bit Effy-like, and maybe it's only because she's drunk, but it's a little uncomfortable.

She says as much.

You're gorgeous, Kaya says in return, and kisses her.

It's a little more than Klariza's kiss, but not as much as when Kathryn kisses her during rehearsals. It's halfway between confident and tentative and it's almost kind of nice -- for a moment. And then Lily remembers where she is and who _Kaya_ is and she jumps away.

Kaya laughs. Are things going to be awkward now? she asks, amused, raising an eyebrow.

Lily just swallows hard and then gulps down the rest of the wine, sitting down at the edge of Kaya's bed. Of course not, she says, dropping the bottle off to the side, head spinning from the alcohol. Of course not.

 

;;

 

[Five: Lisa]

Lisa's not like Pandora at all, which is still a bit unnerving at times, because Lisa's, well, _smart_.

But she also speaks her mind (which makes her very much Pandora indeed, and not at all like anyone else that Lily knows), so it shouldn't come as a surprise when, sitting around in the dressing room going over their lines for the next episode, Lisa says, You know, I do wonder what it'd be like to kiss you. I'm speaking from a clearly objective, viewpoint, mind. It's just, well, people do seem to like kissing you, don't they?

I have no idea what you're talking about, Lily lies (blatantly so) and stares down at her script.

Kaya told me she snogged you, Lisa says, as if they're discussing the weather. And I see the way Kat looks at you, so I'm assuming she's kissed you too. And not as Emily, I mean. Lily opens her mouth to speak, a bit shocked, but Lisa hurries on. It's fine. I mean, it's okay, I get it. You're very pretty. And you're great to get along with, too, so I suppose that it's only natural people want to kiss you.

Well. Lily doesn't quite know what to say. Thank you? I guess?

You're welcome. Lisa smiles at her, flipping a page in her script, scribbling something down in the margins.

There's a moment of silence.

Finally Lisa says, So, I suppose if I were to ask --

No, sorry, Lily says, blushing furiously. No, but I appreciate the offer.

Ah, well then, Lisa shrugs, before gathering her things together and standing up with a yawn, stretching her arms up over her head. It was at least worth asking, I think. Maybe I'll get a better result next time I'm with you when you're proper pissed.

Lily _really_ doesn't know what to say to that.

 

;;

 

[Six: April]

April looks so different from when she was on _Skins_ , is the first thought that goes through Lily's mind when she and everyone else arrive at the premiere of _Tormented_ (five minutes late, Kathryn couldn't find her labret stud and finally Meg just told her to fuck it, yanking her out the door). April's on the red carpet signing autographs; when she straightens, she turns and catches Lily's eye. She smiles.

Lily manages a smile back, feeling herself blush for absolutely no reason at all.

I know you, April says, coming over for just a moment, mostly to say hello to Kaya, who's standing off with a group of shouting fans, signing autographs and looking perfectly at ease (which is the exact opposite of how Lily feels right now -- Christ, she can barely breathe). You're Lily, aren't you. April slides up to her, with a curious look. Naomi, yeah? Fucking loved your episode, really. You're quite the actress.

I'm not, really, Lily says shyly.

You like it though, don't you? April asks. I can tell. I've seen you in interviews once or twice. You're very serious.

Lily has to laugh at that. Please, oh, that's not me at all. Kathryn's the one who's serious.

There are different kinds of serious, April tells her, looking over her shoulder; Kaya's waving and walking over. I've got to go; I've got some catching up to do. Meet me inside in a few, yeah? I'd like to talk to you some more.

That's April, Megan says, suddenly beside Lily. Is she nice? She seems nice, but I've wondered if -- I mean, I'd like to --

Go talk to her already, Lily says, and wanders off to find Kathryn.

(Later, inside, April pulls her into the toilets -- It's quieter in here, she says -- and presses her up against the wall and kisses her breathlessly. Come on, don't you want this? April asks, confused, when Lily gently pushes her off. I assumed -- well, I've heard things, and, well, you're not against a bit of complimenting, are you? And after a minute, Lily thinks, fuck it, and says out loud, Well, everything once, right? And April kisses her again before tugging her into an empty stall, locking the door behind them.)

Mm, lovely, April sighs a little while later, kissing the side of Lily's mouth, still a bit breathless. Let's do this again sometime, yeah?

And then just like that she's pulled herself together, tugging down her dress and exiting the stall, washing her hands at the sink. Lily comes out a moment later, watches as April wipes off her mouth, re-applies her lipstick. She catches Lily's eye in the mirror, winks, and Lily suddenly becomes very interested in smoothing down the front of her dress, because she knows her face is bright red and she's just gotten wet all over again.

See you out there, April purrs, with a little flourish of her fingers, and then she's gone.


End file.
